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Fargo,
ND - In a wide-ranging speech before the Fargo Council on
Foreign Affairs and Quilting Bee, Neo-Whig presidential candidate
Chest Notgerman today said that he supports SDI (Strategic
Defense Initiative) and will work tirelessly to see that America
builds a fleet of galaxy-class starships with both phaser
and photon-torpedo capabilities.
In
the same speech Notgerman reiterated his opposition to PMS
(Pre-Menstrual Syndrome) and vowed to make it priority one
of the Notgerman justice department.
"PMS
is a national disgrace," Notgerman declared. "It's
the leading cause of crime in the United States. I know that
there are many who have come out in favor of the de-criminalization
of PMS, but I believe that if we were to do so it would send
the wrong signal to our young children and it would be a slap
in the face to the millions of people every year who are the
victims of PMS-related crimes."
In
related news, Gynecologists for Social Responsibility today
announced that they are officially endorsing the candidacy
of Chest Notgerman for the presidency. This brings to a total
of 837 the number of professional organizations that have
officially endorsed the Neo-Whig candidate.
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