Montpelier, VT — Speaking before a large crowd of supporters at the annual Montpelier Che Guevara Appreciation Day Meatless Barbecue, Democrat presidential frontrunner Howard Dean announced that he has been diagnosed as suffering from “Humorless Liberal Syndrome” or HLS.

HLS is a serious neurological disorder that afflicts over 99.99% of leftwing Americans, according to information provided by the National HLS Foundation. Persons who suffer from HLS are born without the brain lobe that control’s one’s sense of humor, enjoyment of life and the ability to refrain from being pompous and taking oneself so seriously. Although the cause of HLS is not known for certain, clinical evidence does suggest that early childhood exposure to soymilk and National Public Radio talk shows is to blame.

While campaign officials are being tightlipped about the status of the candidate’s health, Broken Newz has learned that Dean is scheduled next week to receive an experimental funny bone transplant at the Mayo Clinic.

If successful, the marrow of the transplanted funny bone will stimulate the production of enzymes and brain tissue that will give Mr. Dean the physical ability to acquire a sense of humor after a six-month period of humor rehabilitation. Broken Newz has also learned that after his operation Mr. Dean will undergo rehabilitation at the Henny Youngman Clinic in Pasadena, California. The clinic has previously treated celebrity HLS sufferers such as Jerry Brown, Jimmy Carter and Gloria Steinem.

Originally ran on Brokennewz.com